Slowing down is good advice for anyone caught up in the intense emotions of new love, says David Goldenberg, MD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College.ĭuring that early phase, he explains, it’s common to shy away from the “uncomfortable parts” of getting to know another person. “Even though the roller coaster left me confused and less trusting of myself, I use it as a reminder to slow down and better vet the object of my feelings, along with my feelings themselves,” she says. Now that she’s stable and better educated about her disorder, Robin says lessons she learned from that tumultuous relationship helped her set better boundaries going forward. Still, she adds, “I wasn’t really a victim of him-I was a victim of myself.… I didn’t have a healthy gauge then and I was repeating certain patterns.” In retrospect, she assesses him as “a fake, … and narcissist.” She recalls a draining love affair with a man she thought was her “absolute perfect soul mate”-despite his controlling behavior and their constant arguing. “I’d feel ‘zip-a-dee-doo-dah!’ in love with myself in hypomania, but then when someone comes along, I’d feel even more so about him,” says Robin, who was diagnosed with bipolar in her 20s. Robin, a 38-year-old artist from the southern United States, remembers diving into toxic relationships during periods of elevated mood. “You may then act on that feeling when making major long-term life decisions, not understanding your state had something to do with what you were feeling.” “When you’re in a hypomanic or manic state, you’re also more likely to feel you’re in love,” says Haase. Members of the Human Sexuality Committee of the Group for the Advancement of Psychiatry-an organization dedicated to addressing the social needs of people with a mental disorder-are trying to come up with helpful answers to guide individuals with bipolar.Įlizabeth Haase, MD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and a member of the sexuality committee, says learning to tell the difference can help avert harmful choices. Turns out a group of psychiatrists has been looking at the love vs. Or are those traits actually signs of looming mania? Is it love when you’re swept by euphoria, erotic stirrings, a special feeling of connection, and constant thoughts of the one you desire? When you have bipolar disorder, though, the question becomes more complicated. In Irving Berlin’s catchy Broadway tune “You’re Just in Love,” a puzzled young man wonders why he can’t sleep or eat, yet feels like he’s walking on air. Giddy romance and mania have a lot in common, so learn the signs that tell you which is which.
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